I know… I know…

It’s been a while. I just have not had the time lately to be writing. I’ve been caught up in a new place, new classes, holidays, and life in general. I’ve also not really had the time to get out of this restrictive campus network and back to China’s… not so restrictive network (wow… imagine that).

Health is better, winter is ending, and things are looking up. There might be some major changes coming in the very near future; drastic changes, but not negative ones. Like possibly moving, increasing my salary fivefold, and finally getting back into IT.

Now, on to something funny:

Recently, there has been a group of “artsy fartsy… let me try to put my finger on the pulse of society” photographs going around the web here in China, in which they have different people in different walks of life, holding up poster paper with their thoughts on it (some in Chinese, some in English). An example: A young man standing in front of a cityscape, with a sign that says “I want to know who I am, and what I can do” (Every time I see it, I think, “You are a man, and you can hold a sign”). Or, another winner… a lady in a Hong Kong sex shop holding a sign that says “I want to have children”.

Basically, if you flip through them really fast, it’s like a watching a Chinese version of Bob Dylan’s “Subterranean Homesick Blues” video… on LSD.

But, while flipping through it I found something that others have obviously been overlooking.

This is supposed to be a 22 year old insurance salesman (Fu Weidong) who is now unemployed in Hubei Province. The sign he is holding says “I want to go to Paris, because Paris is the capitol of fashion and romance.”


First, wearing that t-shirt may be the root of his unemployment, and who knows, it might indirectly allow him to have his wishes come true. I’m just not sure if being exiled from China is the best way to get to Paris.

***!!!*** Addition ***!!!***

Major brain fart on my part, for neglecting to recognize the obvious…

Here I am, getting canned from a job, handed a “Get the hell out of China” visa, and had to do a “step-n-fetch” dance just to stay here… all because of a picture of the Dalai Lama (on an article that SUPPORTED CHINA), and this guy is traipsing around “in country” with a F’n “Free Tibet” t-shirt????!!!!??? Maybe this should have been granted a “Logic Part 5.344e+92,552” title.

Another installment of “Going to the hospital.”

Quick background: Had some stomach pain that shifted to my kidneys, then to my groin, and eventually felt like it kicked me in the family jewels (seriously).

On to the hospital.

The front lobby of every hospital I have been (which has been quite a few here), looks just like the lobby of the ticketing area of any train station in China. This is not a judgment; it is just how it looks.

Today was a little different, and truly astonishing. The lines of people, a few hundred strong, were left waiting for an hour while the receptionists took their lunch break. You really can’t do anything in the hospital until you go through this first step.

At the counter you are asked what type of problem you have, and they issue you a medical log book with UPC code and they point you off in the direction you need to go. No problems… and cheap (5元).

The next step is to walk through the labyrinth of hallways and offices to find your assigned doctor. Remember, 1.3 billion people… The doctor will not be seeing you “privately”. Oh, they try, but it is mostly in vain. Even when it was my turn, some man refused to leave, after being asked by the doctor and nurses. I didn’t really worry too much about the main listening in on me describing my pains, until the doctor decided he needed to play a round of “Second hand pocket pool” with me.

May God strike me dead if I am lying… the doctor did it without gloves.

I was informed that I needed to have one test, and possibly another, depending on the outcome of the first.

Everything needs to be paid up front, so I was off to the cashier for that area, then off to the ultrasound lab.

As I am lying on the table, asking for them to check and see if my unborn child is well, I realized that my ultrasound was going to go a little lower than just my stomach and sides.

You know, how those ultrasound wands do look like those industrial strength “back” vibrators??? No vibrate setting on this thing.

During the exam, one of the technicians questioned if “foreigners look the same on the inside”… I… I… But??? Did he??? nooooo… I was his version of the “Alien Autopsy”?

Now it was back to the doctor’s office. He let me know that I have some cysts and some calcium deposits on “the wonder twins”, and then said I needed to take the “other exam”.

I thought I knew what the “other exam” was, and I was not looking forward to it. But off I went to the cashier (yes, I had to go pay 36元 for that). But, instead of going directly back to the doctor’s office, I decided to go to another office and have a doctor hook me up with a personal stash of some good drugs… Clonazepam. Yeah, a doctor asking to give me “the finger”, in a crowded room, caused me to realize I needed a refill of panic attack meds. So, off I went to the cashier and on to the pharmacy…

6元 for some primo drugs, and 36元 for “the finger”; a total of about $5… Couldn’t have done better with a New York City crack whore.

He told me to go behind the curtain and take the position of the man in the poster. I didn’t need to look at the poster, I know the routine well… after working for Bohai University for five years, I’m quite familiar with bending over and taking it up the…

I’ve had prostate exams before, and I was vaguely aware of another type of test they do. I should not have confused his meaning of “test”, with simply a prostate exam… it wasn’t. I won’t go into details, but there is a regular exam of the prostate, and then there is an exam for the fluids. They should not be confused… One is uncomfortable; the other can be extremely painful. Let’s just say I wasn’t reciting Shakespeare’s sonnets, so I don’t know how entertained the room full of people was with my words.

This time the doctor did use gloves…

I then had to ‘hobble’ through the hallways with a microscope slid of my own bodily fluids (seriously), through masses of people, to take it to the lab.

After waiting for the results, I went back to his office. He sat down (I stood) and told me that I had an inflamed prostate. I wanted to look at him and say “No sh-t Sherlock! You just tried to pin it against the floor with your finger!”

He then asked me if I wanted western or Chinese medicine. I asked him what the differences were, and he told me that, with the western medicine, I needed to use a suppository and sit in a pan of warm water… every day…

Ladies and Gentleman! Gather around! Let me tell you about the wonders of Chinese medicine…

He wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic and some Chinese medicine, then suggested that I return, twice a week for six months, to see if the medication was working. I wanted to suggest something to him, but after our intimate meeting behind the curtain, I wasn’t sure how he would take it if I told him to kiss my ---. I also thought about asking if I could just go to the corner KTV twice a week for the exam; If it has to be done, I should at least enjoy it.

Back I went to the cashier and then to the pharmacy.

Total cost was about 800元… I think the KTV would be cheaper.

Just when you thought it was over…

Leno comes back.

What a “bundle of small sticks tied together”… Wait, I know there must be another name for that… let me look it up… Oh! Yes! F-A-G-G-O-T!!!

I’ve been following the whole thing from here, and I’ve pretty much kept quiet until I recently saw what Leno said on his show on Monday.

First, he says that it all started when he wanted to be released from his contract, so that he “could go elsewhere”. He says this is why NBC gave him the 10:00 show.

Then he goes on to makes the statement “They come back to me and they say if he decides to walk and doesn’t want to do it (12:00 Tonight Show), do you want the show back? I go, ‘Yeah, I’ll take the show back’.”

What a load of horse scat!!!!

Does he really want us to believe that NBC would go to Conan, asking him to move to 12:00, BEFORE they even asked Leno to return??? What if Leno said “No”? Especially since Leno said the whole thing started because he wanted to LEAVE NBC? I know management of NBC is pretty retarded, but I don’t think they are that retarded.

Does he actually want us to believe that this fiasco would make him want to STAY with NBC, if he had reasons for leaving it before it all happened?

I think it is quite obvious what has happened… NBC gave Leno the “Carson treatment”, before he ever deserved it, and Leno is high off of it. He thought he was big enough to have his own primetime show, and after failing, he used his muscle to push out someone who has been working for over 20 years at NBC.

SEVEN MONTHS! That is all Conan had, after he and his entire crew changed their lives and moved across the country.

No, Conan didn’t have high numbers, but let’s think about it in a different way. Conan moved to an earlier time, and his numbers (however low they were), were higher then they were when he was on later. Leno had high numbers, moved earlier, and his numbers dropped. I am pretty sure, had NBC given Conan more time, his numbers would have increased. You cannot say the same for Leno.

Obviously I am a Letterman fan, but that only happened because of the first NBC/Tonight Show fiasco. And, to be honest, I’d much rather watch “The Late, Late Show, with Craig Ferguson”, than to watch Leno.

Leno said, “I have no animosity towards Conan”… What an egotistical prick. OF COURSE NOT, you dumb “Richard”-head… The animosity is directed at you, from just about every living being on earth, other than the NBC executives.

China's "Holy 8"

I’m pretty sure the rest of the world is not seeing the news here in China, but it is quite disturbing. We have yet another prime example of the States manipulation of the minds of the people, and how worried the rest of the world should be, about the levels of nationalist pride in China… to the point of xenophobia.

8 Chinese “peacekeepers” were killed during the earthquake in Haiti… along hundreds of thousands of estimated Haitians. Obviously this is a tragic thing, and nobody wants to tread on the fact that people lost their lives. However, China seems to be focusing all of their attention on those 8, and completely neglecting the fact that Haiti is facing its worst time in history.

Chinese news coverage has turned into a PR effort for the State to boost the already frightening levels of national pride within the population. Open any Chinese news source and the focus will NOT be on the destruction in Haiti, or the aid efforts for Haiti. What you will see is total coverage of all things Chinese, dealing with those 8 dead.

It is almost as if the measly “rescue” effort that China put on, was simply to find their own nationals, and get the hell out of Dodge.

Anyone who has seen the news in China knows of the staged video and sound bites, used strictly to boost the moral of the people, but this has gotten to the point of being literally sickening.

China went through the same thing in 四川, with its earthquake. The people here seem to have forgotten how the rest of the world focused their efforts on helping China.

Go to the Chinese news and what do you see? Chinese rescuers, digging for Chinese dead. Staged memorial ceremonies (in Haiti, for those 8), complete with banners. A “welcoming home” ceremony, complete with military honors, TV coverage, more banners, funeral processions. It is downright sickening.

People are starting to use words like “martyrs” and “heroes” when they speak of them.

I’m waiting on a telethon to raise money for the 8 families, and propaganda posters, complete with photographs of each of the dead… seriously.

If you are from outside of China, take a look at your news and see if you can find more than one article about any of your native citizens who died in Haiti. I bet you would have to dig for it. I had to search high and low to find out that there are 16 dead and 70 missing US citizens. But, in China, every schoolchild is going to be taught that 8 patriotic PLA members lost their lives… for their country… in Haiti.

There is one common irony with stories like this in China. The people only seem to learn about their own nation when things like this happen. I’m sure most Chinese never knew that there were “peacekeepers” in Haiti, and they probably learned this the same way they learned it when Chinese peacekeepers were killed in Lebanon. Yet most Chinese will point out every other nation (mainly the US) that has soldiers in another country, and label them “invaders” or “imperialists”.

China does not have diplomatic relations with Haiti; the reason for this is the same reason China does not have diplomatic relations with other nations, or will not trade with other nations (yes, there are actually nations that China does not trade with): Because they will not sign papers stating that Taiwan is a part of China.

Maybe this whole “hero” thing, is just a way for the State to keep the minds of the people off of the fact that they also have armed soldiers in other nations, so as not to look too hypocritical when they report on other nations.

****!!!!!**** UPDATE !!!!

Yesterday they put on a full network coverage (meaning most every station), of a government sponsored memorial service, complete with Hu and Wen. The indoctrination continues.

Yao Ming, “Counterrevolutionary”:

Ok, so Yao Ming and his wife are expecting a baby (congratulations). The buzz going around China is either a comical wordplay on suggesting the baby’s name, or the nationality of the baby if he/she is born in the US. But they are not seeing the real “news” of this story.

Yao released this news to the public, by posting it on his FaceBook account. FaceBook is a site that is currently blocked in China.

Here is where it gets funny… The State run media is reporting this news all over the place, and in some cases they are even referencing the fact that it was posted on FaceBook.

The State government is learning its news from web sites that are banned in China. Talk about irony.

This is a test… this is only a test…

Had this been an actual post, you would have been directed to run, screaming to the exits.
I promise this is the beginning of the resumption of business here at Kyle.cn. I've just been a little busy recently, but things are getting back to normal.

Vacation, all I ever wanted...

Well, vacation time is coming to an end. Guess it is time I spoke up. I’ll be doing that soon.

Just letting people know I am still around.

Jimmy Carter, just an old southern racist.

Former President Jimmy Carter said that Kanye West’s outburst at the VMA Awards was “completely uncalled for”.

I think Mr. Carter’s outburst comes from some severe deep seated racial hatred.

Seriously folks, if a sitting US Congressman calls the President a “Liar”, or people protest the health care package, and THEY are racist (simply because the President happens to be black)…

How much more is it when a former President speaks out against a black man for something he did that is totally unrelated to anything dealing what that former President’s life?

Yep. Jimmy Carter is just an old southern racist.