That time again. (No pun intended.)

Ok. Fella’s, back me up on this.

Women OCCASIONALLY will have ongoing complaints about certain things that they wish we would do, or things they believe we should be doing.

And, to be fair, they are right; there ARE things we should be doing, and we should do things they like us to do.

Guy’s, we could sit here all day compiling that list, but let’s use the old standby of “The TV/Movie/Make-Believe Romantic Dinner”.

The words “Why don’t you…” are enough to send any man into the next room.

But, here’s the thing…(justified or not) no matter how much of the annoying nagging we may endure, no matter how many times it is brought up, no matter what the subject, the following is what we must eventually deal with:

What women do not understand is that, once in a while, men will have a certain idea enter their mind; the idea of “I want to do something nice for her”. This is usually brought on by a moment of true and unselfish love; a moment where our woman is in our mind, exactly the way she wishes to be. And, true, there may be times when this might be brought on by guilt over something, but no matter what the case, the end result is specifically meant for her.

So we set off on our task of trying to accommodate anything and everything we could imagine that would make her happy. We go to our brains library of information, and we find it overflowing with examples of what she has said she wanted, words that have come straight from her mouth. And we begin to plan, specifically for her.

It will go without saying, that these things are probably things we really do not feel comfortable in doing, otherwise, we would not have such a full library of nagging references; yet we unselfishly struggle through this task.

Call the restaurant in advance, make reservations, check the music selection, make sure her favorite dish is available, double check the florist, and even go as far as brushing up on our dancing skills.

The whole time we are doing this, women are not aware of what is going on in our minds. They are not aware of the fact that, slowly, as we build up this surprise for her, we are actually starting to HAVE FUN. We sneak around, covertly preparing everything, and grinning like mad as the time approaches. I may go as far as to say “glee” enters the picture. (The woman’s lack of knowledge of this phenomenon will come into play later.)

The time has arrived, and the following events start to occur:

You surprise her, by being dressed up for something, other than going to one of her friends weddings, and try to get her to also doll herself up for the evening.

Immediately, the woman’s “suspicion switch” kicks in as the “what is he trying to make up for” idea starts to surface. Not only that, but the “has he gone crazy” idea enters her head.

Obviously, while we are bursting with joy at our work, the look of “Are you nuts?” on our woman face is enough to put a tiny hole in our bubble. We attempt to recover, smile, thinking we can fix this as the day goes on.

Once we are there, we spend the rest of the evening with that look staring us down.

At some point, the woman’s “I can’t believe this” reservoir gets filled to capacity, and everything is thrown into total chaos with one stupid sentence…

"Why don’t you do this…" or “Well, it’s about time you…”

Often times, the woman will see the joy on our faces and completely lose her senses; using this as the perfect time to try to ruin the evening for us, simply to “teach us a lesson” about something she has not gotten over yet.

We are constantly nagged about “not thinking” or “not caring”; and as soon as we do care/think… the woman stops caring and thinking.

And, you know what? Maybe he IS trying to make up for something... but... who cares? Why not just sit back and enjoy it?

Sure, this is one of the seldom occurring examples, I will give you that, but the basic idea is still the same… whether it is a candlelit dinner or a simple “I think I will give her a phone call…”; no matter what, if a man does something that the woman has constantly nagged about… she will rip him a new one for doing it, just to “teach him a lesson”… what is that lesson? Well... that he should do it more often. Show me the logic in that, please?

Ladies, I know you thrive off of the idea that you need to train your man… however…

Complaining about how we act, by being hypocritical and acting the same way when we finally "come around", teaches us nothing more than to never do it again.

***

Woman: “Why don’t you send me flowers?”
Man: “But, baby… they are just flowers.”
Woman: “You will never understand.”

Ding-dong! “Flower delivery!”

Woman: “Eh..”
Man: “Baby, don’t you like your flowers?”
Woman: “Do you think this is going to make up for…”

Ladies, you can now check “flowers” off of the list of things we will ever do for you.

***

Woman: “You just don’t care about my feelings!”
Man: “I’m sorry baby; tell me what you are thinking.”
Woman: “Why do you care now??”

Ladies, you can now check “emotional concern” off of that list as well.

***

Woman: “I miss you.”
Woman: “I miss you.”
Woman: “I MISS YOU!”

Man: “Baby, I miss you.”
Woman: “Why is it every time I tell you I miss you…"

Ladies, are you getting the picture yet?

Ok, sure… these examples start out showing how stupid, unthoughtful, and uncaring a man can be sometimes. But, the thing is… if you REALLY want to “train” him…

ACT THE WAY YOU WOULD WANT US TO ACT, WHEN YOU IMAGINED US DOING THOSE THINGS FOR YOU! Otherwise, just let us walk in the other room and turn the game on.

DUDE!!!

As is often the case, many English stories that I come across here, are whittled down to simply give you the meaning of the story. This is quite understandable, being that most of these books are meant for English learners. However, many of the “Greats” are “great” because of the way in which the stories were written, and the language they used. Much of that is lost.

The other day, I picked up one of these books, because I was bored, and started reading. I found something that AMAZED me:

"...The little man seemed not to be afraid, for the walked right up to me without hesitation; and by his laughter, while looking me up and down, I guessed that he found me quite amusing. Several others came in behind him. He turned to them and pointing to me, began speaking in a beautiful language that I could not recognize.

Soon, I had about eight or nine of these men standing around me, touching my hands, my hair, and my clothing, all the while speaking to one another in their unique language. Throughout this I felt absolutely no fear at all. I found nothing threatening in these little people. Even if they had wanted to hurt me, I was certain that I could easily have defended myself..."

"...Joining them again, I began to take greater notice of their features...."

"...As for their faces, they were rather pointed at the chin. And they possessed thin, red mouths, around which no hair grew at all.

I then tried to communicate with them more directly…"

"...Seeing that they did not understand, I tried pointing at the sun to indicate time. One of them suddenly got excited and, with his voice, made the sound of loud thunder. It was then that I realized that I might be dealing with people much less intelligent than myself. My heart sank with disappointment..."

"...On the tables were bowls of fresh fruit, mostly unfamiliar to me.

Everyone gathered around the tables and…" "...began to eat. I was encouraged to do the same. First, however, I wanted to observe their manners. I found them quite easy to learn, for they had none. Each person would take whatever he wanted from the table without asking. Even if it was the last piece of fruit from the plate, whoever grabbed it was the person who ate it. There were no special privileges for the women or children. Everyone was equal at this table. In terms of cleanliness, people simply threw or spit the unwanted parts of the fruit into a hole in the center of the table…"

"...I decided to learn as much of their language as I could. So, while eating, I began to point at the different fruit and made a question sound. At first, they did not know what I wanted and instead of speaking, brought me an extra bowl of the fruit I was pointing to. Waving them away, I again pointed to the fruit. This time, a woman in the crowd started to speak to me. She repeated the same word several times, so I knew she was telling me the name of the fruit. In trying to repeat her words I must have done a very poor job, for everyone began to laugh very hard…"

"...However, when I tried to persuade them to teach me more, I saw that they had quickly grown tired of this…"

"...A very strange characteristic of these people was their tendency to show great interest in me for only a moment, then very suddenly lose all interest and walk away as if I were not there. I was not sure how to understand it. Were they disappointed in me? Was there something they expected me to do?..."

"...it made me feel very uncomfortable…"

DAMN! That H.G. Wells was like Nostradamus or something!

I always though “The Time Machine” was just a story, not a prophecy about my life!

*sigh*... again with the propaganda.

I recently read an article written by a former foreign teacher at Bohai, regarding China’s “One Child Policy”. (I am unable to link to it.) While I do agree with much of his views on the results of China’s "One Child Policy” (China is now suffering from a never-ending “Me Generation”), I TOTALLY disagree on his intro and description of what many have written regarding it.

What he has done, and many have similarly, is to take what he has been fed and create a fictitious story to grab the readers attention. This would be fine and dandy, if it had any semblance of truth to it, but when it does not, it just feeds the propaganda machine.

Basically the story was of a woman who was abducted by the government, drugged, and forced to have an abortion.

I really do get quite frustrated when I see the effects of years of propaganda on either side of the ocean.

Ok… let’s put things to rest.

China’s One Child Policy:

1 – Only applies to Han Chinese.
2 – Having multiple children is NOT forbidden, there is a monetary fee for breaking the policy.
3 - The fee is scaled based on income.
4 - If the first child is a girl, they are allowed to have another child without paying. Even if the second child is another girl..
5 - *ADDITION* - If two only children marry, they can have two children, boys or girls, without paying anything.

The idea that the government is forcibly abducting pregnant women and giving them abortions, without discussion, is quite insane.

If this WERE the case, it would be much easier, and more productive, to apply the policy to all Chinese. I know some non-Han Chinese who have up to 8 brothers and sisters. We are, after all, talking about a form of population control, not ethnic cleansing… Being Han in China is similar to being Caucasian in the west.

Nobody is going to tell me that the government is going to be killing off their own, while letting other "cultural minorities” freely breed like rabbits. Even the Chinese government isn’t THAT illogical. (These are not ethnic or racial minorities, they are simply CULTURAL minorities. In other words, wear different clothes, sing different songs, eat different foods, be born in a certain province, and… even though you are CHINESE ETHNIC, you are now a “minority” within China.)

My friend Kate is Han, has a younger brother, and her parents paid nothing at all.

My friend Helen is Han, and one of three children (the other two are her younger brothers). Her family is from the countryside, and the most they paid was about 400元. (An abortion costs 500元.)

I have a student from the south who is one of 9 children; he is not Han, so they paid nothing.

I work for Bohai University… it has nearly 30,000 students… over 80% of which, are girls… and, a large percentage of those are from the countryside. The perception in the west of Chinese people throwing out their daughters, because they want a son, is quite silly.

The VAST MAJORITY of my students are female students are ONLY CHILDREN from the countryside. If their parents are allowed to have a second child free, why don’t they try? The truth is they are not trying… even in an attempt to have a male child; People in China are quite aware of the population problem.

This is what most in the west are missing out on; the fact that Chinese are not running around screaming about this policy. The people are quite aware of why it was put in place.

And, people are also forgetting the massive number of westerners who travel to China every year to adopt children.

Yes, abortions happen on a MASSIVE scale in China, but that is simply because it is considered more of a form of birth control by the people than condoms. Abortion clinics are as common as any other form of hospital in cities around China. They advertise in the newspapers and on TV. (There is one outside of Bohai University, and, although people may wish to toss the “traditional Chinese” crap around… the clinic serves university students.)

The government, upon the issuance of a marriage certificate, give the family not only a copy of the One Child Policy, but for many, this is the first time they are also handed ANY information in regards to sex education.

Now, some of you are going to start in on “what about the peasants?” Farmers make a living off of… farming. This is their sole means of supporting their families. Not only does it represent an income, but also sustenance. Ok, here’s the thing… the government gives land to farmers when they have children. Now some of you might start to think, “Well, this creates an atmosphere where they would want to have more children, to increase their land holdings.” Hmmm… that sounds familiar…

Unless I am mistaken, the US government has forcibly (chemically) sterilized, and forcibly removed children from women who keep shooting out kids and have no funds to support them, other than sucking off the teat of welfare.

Is it right for Chinese to focus on this fact and claim that the US government is some sort of monster? Of course not, because it is taken way out of context, and the complete facts of these measures are not known to them. So why is it that the west seems to feel it can do the same thing about China’s One Child Policy?

I mean... seriously... Do you think the government is going to force someone to have a 500元 abortion, when they could just as easily make tens of thousands by forcing the child into adoption? The waiting list to adopt a healthy Chinese child is huge

**Addition**

Again, people are so willing to give in to a knee-jerk negative reaction to anything and everything in China, without giving any thought as to the logic of what they are willing to accept.

I am not saying I agree with the Party, or that the Party is the savior of the known world, far from it. But, if people want to point out the problems and faults of this form of government, try using the obvious… Censorship as a form of mind control, economic ideals that force 80% of the population to live in the dark-ages, trade practices that border on acts of war, technological and military espionage, spreading the idea of racial superiority, stifling free speech, lack of representation of the people, and criminalizing acts that were the same acts that allowed Mao to create the Communist Party of China.

Every time I hear things like the issue of religion, or the One Child Policy in China… it reminds me of people in the US who run around saying the government planted chips in their heads. If the people of China focused on that… I’m sure they would be writing a lot about it also; but it would just as skewed.

**Additional Addition***

I have just learned that, depending on the leadership in the area, some people do not even have to pay the fee. And, while inversely, one can extrapolate that there would be leadership that require a heavier fee… the idea that it is a normal in China, or a countrywide mandate, is insane.

Most of these “stories” that you hear are from the south (as are most of the incredible stories of every other thing), and there is a reason for this. The governments in those areas are a little more liberal than the north, and speech freedom is granted on a larger scale… and, with that, you will also get people who will say anything. Most of the “news” will come through Hong Kong, through people with an obvious mission to report anything and everything that seems bad regarding the mainland.

Also… the south is where most non-Han live, so… I find it a little suspicious when I hear stories regarding China’s One Child Policy in regards to that area.