This is NOT a post about Chinese drivers... really.

*** After writing this, I read this post on on Talk-Talk China and had a good laugh. (I am a pro at Lesson 5)

I have been avoiding this issue on my blog, for fear of offending… but it has gotten to that “irritation level” for me that I must write about it, as a release. I’ve dealt with it for three years; it is time to let some steam off.

One of the few times I have ever gotten a truly genuine smile of amusement from Jason, a teacher from Texas, was with an outburst while walking through the local supermarket in JinZhou. I came out and said, “I REALLY wish they would teach these people how to drive…” he cut me off in mid sentence to ask “Why?” I finished by saying, “So they would learn how to WALK!”

You DRIVE on the right hand side; you should WALK on the right hand side. (Do not mistake this for a misunderstanding; they DO drive on the right hand side of the road.)

I always seem to be the lone person heading in the opposite direction of everyone else. I am constantly walking into a barrage of Chinese faces, with no route of escape other than to jump a curb, or walk to the opposite side of the road. And, believe me, nobody ever seems to realize that I had been walking on the correct side of the road.

I honestly think it takes me twice as long as anyone else to walk from point A to point B in China. I must continuously zigzag to avoid walking into people.

Why do I have this problem while most Chinese do not seem to have this problem? Well, because of a thing I like to call the “Chinese Chicken Factor”. (For my Chinese readers, the term “Playing Chicken” means to have two people head right towards each other, and see who moves first, we call that person “Chicken”.) People play it all the time here, but it goes against 34 years of ordered travel rules for me.

When you go from a place with a set of rules for driving, they seem to follow over to walking as well. O-R-D-E-R.

When you take into consideration that the rules of the road in China are not really being applied (except for 3 or 4 of the developed cities), this explains a lot.

Take into consideration some of the major rules that ARE applied; for example, the law which states that an automobile which hits a pedestrian/cyclist is always at fault. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. You get an understanding of how walking without concern can become the norm.

Another annoying thing is the “Chinese Girl Group Factor”. This is where a group of girls 2 or more (usually more), link arms and lose total understanding of how to unlink their arms and walk single file to avoid causing a collision. I have, personally, witnessed the strange occurrence of a group of girl students attempting to walk through a doorway, made for one, and spend time trying to maneuver their way through, while still linking arms. I have walked up stairways, built for two directions of foot traffic, only to be met with three girls coming in the opposite direction, arms linked.

I must confess, I saw this when I lived in Farmington Hills, Michigan. A group of “hall walkers” (middle aged women using the hallways of a business to do their daily walking exercise), would always stand three or four abreast, and make me hug the wall, just to get by. Well, after a few weeks of this, I finally leaned into one of them, knocking her to the floor. Let’s just say, it had the desired effect, they would part like the Red Sea whenever I met them in the hallway.

I really don’t want to knock down students, just to get this point across. Besides, I would be doing it on an hourly basis if I wanted to have any effect.

I have started to do one thing that seems to work quite nicely. As I am walking (on the right hand side of the road/sidewalk), if I meet a mass of people walking towards me that do not seem to be moving, I stop, cross my arms, and just give a look.

I understand, now, why so many Chinese people get reputations as bad drivers in the west. I also understand why many Chinese pedestrians are killed every year in the west. To move from chaos to order, can be just as hard for them, as moving from order to chaos was for me.

An example of Chaos? Yes, this is an actual picture (Thanks Admiral) and NO, it was not an accident, just people not following any set of rules. I see this CONSTANTLY (rarely on such a grand scale, but I see it daily).

Laughing at the Dentist.

Yesterday, I went in to have my permanent crown put on.  It has been a strange trek getting to this final stage.

When the first “permanent” crown came in, it did not fit very well at all.  After shaping what was left of my tooth, to fit the crown, she decided it was in vain and that she would just make a new mold and have another crown sent from BeiJing.

The only problem was, that the temporary crown was made to fit my tooth BEFORE she tried shaping it to fit the new crown.  I had a strange feeling about this, but I did not complain.  A day later, while I was having one of my very rare beers (I’m not a drinker), the temporary crown came off.  I went back in, the next evening, and had them cement it on again, only to have it fall off the second I walked out the door.  I went back in, and they must have put some industrial strength cement on, because this time it stayed.  Again, no complaints from me, they were not charging for any of this, and I enjoy going to this particular dentist (WOW, did I just say THAT?)

When I went in, yesterday, I was in my usual jovial mood.

After she fitted the crown, she started to pack cotton under my tongue, to stop the saliva from getting out of hand while she tried to cement the crown on.  Every time she does this, it just causes me to salivate more, and gets me laughing.

Well, when she was finished, she started to take some forceps and remove the cotton from under my tongue.  Only, this time, she missed the cotton and grabbed my tongue.  It hurt, and she grabbed and pulled so hard, that she drew blood, but I just sat there in tearful fits of laughter.

I just could not get the image of my tongue being stretched out of my mouth, and her looking down in amazement with the look of “Oh NO!” on her face.  It was too much for me.

This was probably the only time she had someone sitting there spitting blood into the “sink” thing, laughing like crazy.  She just kept saying sorry, and asking me if it hurt… which only made me laugh harder.

World Cup "Madness".

It’s pretty bad, that our leader has messed things up so much, that the US Men’s World Cup team has to remove the US flag from their bus, and hide out in an Air Force base.

SERIOUSLY… they are held up at Ramstein Air Base, and they are the only team which does not have its flag painted on the bus… all, for security reasons.

If the World Cup were being held in Saudi Arabia, I would understand… but what is the fear in GERMANY?

I mean, is it REALLY that bad out there? I know I have been out of the US for a few years now, but… does the world hate us THAT much?

Are we really THAT worried that “terrorists” are going to hijack our soccer/football team? I think not.

Can you just imagine what it is going to be like when the Olympics roll around in 2008? Where are we going to HIDE then?

Or… maybe it's just that our soccer/football players, really are the p*s*i*s we made them out to be in grade school.

No need to ask anymore...

Paul McCartney turns 64 on June 18th.

(Of course, I don't think Heather Mills is still feeding him.)

Why is it always me?

Yet again, I had to stop a boy from beating his girlfriend. It seems that I am always the one who sees this… well, the one who sees it and reacts.

Lately, there has been a “market” going on, in the intersection between four dorm buildings. Groups of students who are graduating, or just wanting to clean house, brought out their old textbooks, stuffed animals, clothing, and other things to sell. There were also several stands selling new things, like shoes and beauty care products. And, there were a few university organizations trying to recruit people.

Two days ago, as I was walking through it, on my way outside of campus to take a walk, I noticed a boy and a girl yelling at each other. Evidently, one of them had dropped their recently filled hot water bottle (like a thermos, but with a replaceable glass liner.)

These types of arguments go pretty much unnoticed by the general public.

Well, as I was walking by, the girl pushed the boy. He immediately punched her in the face. I quickly went over and had a few choice words for him, and pushed him away from her.

He was quite angry and pointed at me as though he wanted to cuss me out, but he held back.

I told them to just “Go” but he wanted no part of it.

It was only the sound of my yelling at him, which brought out the guards. They were telling him “Not to do it in front of the foreigner.” Which really ticked me off. He should NEVER do it, regardless of a foreigner being around.

I went into my usual “Be a man!” routine, and told him to walk away. She was behind me, crying. I turned to tell her to leave, and he walked towards her.

She responded by pushing him away…

He responded with another punch in the face...

I responded by placing my left forearm under his neck and lifting him a few feet off the ground and planting him against the wall. I had his right arm, bent across his chest and held with my right arm.

There was a small ledge, pressing right into his lower neck, so I know he was a tad on the uncomfortable side.

As usual, the words flowing out of my mouth were a mixture of Chinese and English, but I think he got the picture.

I finally let him down, when I felt that he knew what the deal was. He came down and, while rubbing his neck, kept pointing at me, as though he wanted to tell me to “watch out”.

I was so pissed off.

As the crowd grew, I just kept screaming at him, “Be Chinese!”, “Be a man!”, “You are not a child!” (Along with a few dozen foul words.)

When I realized that he was standing there, losing major face at the hands of a foreigner, I knew that the situation with his girlfriend was the last thing on his mind.

Finally, the guards seemed a little more responsive, and were telling his girlfriend to go.

I knew, after having this crowd form, and being “Shamed” by a foreigner, he was not about to continue and face more criticism, so I left.

I also had reached that “anger point” in which I knew that if I did not walk away, I might have pummeled him.

I know… I know… I put myself into a situation again. But, as I said before, that is a situation I must react to, regardless.

Guys… Listen. If there is one truth I have learned about women, it is this. Even if a woman is hitting you, there is one thing you can do to hurt them even more than a punch, and that is walk away. There is nothing worse, in a woman’s mind, than for a man to walk away from an argument. You accomplish the same thing, without physical violence, and you maintain your dignity.

If you are angry enough to hit the woman you “love”, you need to find another woman, and you can start by walking away.

(I’m just wondering how many times I am going to have to answer questions about this, in class.)

Billy Preston

1946 - 2006

One of the great singers/songwriters/musicians.

(First credited musician to record with the Beatles.)

(Wrote Joe Cocker's hit "You Are So Beautiful")

Vocabulary words.

I’m beginning to hate it when my students learn new words…

The other day, in class, one of my sweet, young, innocent, female students decided to use a new phrase.

She pointed at my stomach, and in her quiet, timid voice, said, “Flotation device.”

Her only saving grace was that she followed it up by saying, “Don’t worry Teacher, I have one also.”

(Hehe) Pull my finger!

I saw this article in the China Daily about the National Finger Pulling Championship in Austria.

Was it followed up by the “National Flatulence Competition”?

Changes coming… Need Help.

I am now looking for a new hosting site for my page. I will keep the domain, but I cannot keep paying these prices for such a small amount of bandwidth.

I pay $66 (US) a year for:

Disk Space 200MB
Bandwidth 1GB
MySQL Databases 2
Email/FTP Accounts 10
Parked/Addon Domains 1

I need to get more bandwidth… 1GB is NOT doing it.

I don't NEED 10 e-mail accounts. I don't NEED 200MB of disk space. I don't NEED 2 SQL Databases... What I need is bandwidth.

I see sites out there with 10-15GB for what I am paying for 1.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks.

Chinese censorship.

I REALLY really really really really REALLY really really HATE the censorship in China.

(Just thought I would get that off my chest.)

I can understand (though not agree with) their censorship of things in China’s history that they do not wish their people to know of.

TianAnMen/Tibet

I can understand (though not agree with) their censorship of news that does not follow the party line.

BBC.Com

I can understand (though not agree with) their censorship of entire blog hosting sites, because they cannot freely censor individual thought, as well as they can on their own blog hosting sites.

Blogger.Com/Blogspot sites

I can understand (thought not agree with) their censorship of religious sites that do not match the acceptable practices laid out by the CCP.

Falun Gong (which I also happen to believe are nut cases)

I can understand (though not agree with) their censorship of informational web sites that may contain information that the previous examples cover.
WikiPedia.Com

But, with the huge amount of information on the net, being entirely impossible to censor “by hand”, they resort to filters or blanket site blockings.

These filters can end up filtering things you would never imagine… for example:

Their own government sites:

PengLai City Government site.
Censored Site (China)

Uncensored
Their own automotive producers:

Geely Automotive site.
Censored Site (China)

Uncensored

And, the other day, there were even articles within the China Daily web site that were censored… and this is a State run news organization.

You know the feeling you got, when you were about 15 or so, and your parents did not like your taste in music, so they attempted to stop you from listening to it? I have that same feeling here, but in the case of my parents, I can understand. But, what gives the CCP the right to think they are the parents of the entire population of China?

Talk about the "dumbing down of society"...

The CCP only represents 8% of the population.

Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.

Principal Vernon died (Paul Gleason).

Richard Vernon: What if your home... what if your family... what if your dope was on fire?
John Bender: Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.