Piss them off with kindness:

I love this place… I am not going to generalize about all of China, or its entire people, but here in JinZhou, there seems to be an awful lot of ill mannered people. The strange thing is, it’s just commonly accepted by most. Again, it’s that thing I talked about; the unnatural willingness to accept hardship/difficulties without question.

Now, having said that:

Today, I went for a walk which took me to the major supermarket in town. Noting that I live in a city in CHINA, you can guess the crowd size. I have talked about this in previous updates, but many people have this strange custom of thinking they can just walk right up and cut in line (when there are lines… this concept seems to be lost on many). The only people who I let get away with this are older people, and even then, they had better not have 9 shopping carts full of food. (And, yes, I do get physical AND vocal with people who do it to me. I have not absorbed enough culture to let this roll off my back.)

Anyway.

I was standing in line, keeping an eye out for those flying line-breakers, when an older woman came up behind me. Pretty soon, two ladies (I’d say in their 50’s) came up and were beginning the initiation sequence of cutting in front of me, but they must have seen the look on my face, so they resorted to a secondary launch spot… the lady behind me.

When I finally got to the register, the two ladies started to argue with the old woman. I quickly turned around and let them know, in Chinese, that she was next. One of them mumbled something and I said, quite clearly in Chinese, that they knew what was impolite, and they should know better than that. Again, my command of the Chinese language is not the best, by any stretch of the imagination, but it was still enough to shock the heck out of these ladies. From that point on, I made an effort to use only Chinese when talking to the lady at the register and the old lady behind me.

The old lady was so thankful, that she let me use her discount card for that supermarket. She just smiled from ear to ear. The two other ladies continued to mumble in the background, like children who had been sent to their rooms and were pissed at their parents.

Well, after the lady finished ringing me up, I looked at the receipt and noticed there was a mistake… a 30元 mistake. A 30元 mistake amounted to almost half of the bill at that point. This seemed to really tick off the two ladies in line; but, I paid them no attention. They were eager to get through the line.

The thing that really put them over the edge, and gave me great satisfaction, was that it was a mistake in MY FAVOR. You should have seen/heard these ladies when they saw me GIVING the cashier 30元 and explaining that I owed HER the money. I think they should have purchased some adult diapers, because I know they came close to crapping themselves. (To tell the truth, it took some doing to make the cashier understand what the problem was.)

Even in America, people will not go through too much, if any, effort to question a mistake in their favor, it is universal.

All I know is… In one fell swoop, being a good boy made one old lady very happy, one cashier grateful, and two immature, impolite ladies pissed off to no end. I’d say my job is done.

This reminds me of the time, when living in Cheraw, S.C., when I tried to explain to the water company that they gave me a $40 credit that they shouldn’t have. It was like trying to teach quantum physics to a 2 year old. She finally said to me, “You mean… you want to give BACK money? Most people would not do that.”

I still, and always will, live by what my father told me. My money is my money, your money is yours. And, in a related way, what goes around comes around, meaning… everything evens out if you are honest about it.

The best example of this:

When I bought my first apartment, in Cheraw, I needed to get a TV stand. (To replace the milk crate). I found one at the local Wal-Mart for $28.95. When I got to the counter, the lady rang it up and said, “That will be $39.95.” I tried to explain to her, but when I said that the sticker said $28.95, she said… and I quote, “It doesn’t matter what the sticker says, it is what the machine says.” I quickly informed her that I was sent to school to learn to read numbers, not UPC codes. She didn’t think that was too funny.

The next day, I went in to talk with a manager. Thinking I might have made a mistake, I went back to where I got the stand from, to check the sticker. When I got there, I was amazed to find that they not only had they removed the sticker, but every sticker for every stand they had. I was a little ticked off, my receipt meant nothing now.

Feeling beaten, I decided to walk over to the sporting goods section and look at their hunting supplies. I found a nice hard carrying case for pistols, which I was in need of. The type I found is usually about $10 - $15, but there was no tag on them. So, I went up to the counter and asked the man if he could tell me how much they were.

He took out his “wand thing” and with one little beep, he looked strangely at the register and said, “Umm…. Uh… $3?!) I think I broke the sound barrier when I whipped two of the cases up on the counter and said, “I’ll take TWO!”

I can vividly remember walking out of Wal-Mart with the biggest grin on my face, saying, out loud, “It does not matter what the sticker says, it’s what the machine says”.

Now, I know, some of you might think that I should not have done that last part. Vengeance belongs to God; I claim sarcasm as my own. (No matter how many times my mother smacks me in the mouth for it.)

DID YOU HEAR IT!?!?

That big sigh of happiness/relief/joy?

First, I guess the messages I sent last night were heard loud and clear. This morning, I received a message that my permits were in the office and I could come and pick them up.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Secondly, NO MORE BIG BROTHER! I finally decided to do the intelligent thing and bypass the Chinese government’s censorship of the internet. Thank goodness for proxies (I even set up my own in case my list of free ones diminishes)

YEAH!!!

The censorship by the Chinese government goes far beyond what the media reports. For the most part, our media will use specific instances of censorship in a propagandist way, neglecting some of the big picture.

The site you are reading right now is called a “Blog”, short for “weB LOG”. It is nothing more than the ramblings of what goes on in my head. They are the “in thing” now. People all over the world have their own blogs, and are free to express themselves online, where anyone who feels like reading, can do so.

One of the largest providers of “blog resources” online is www.blogger.com this site allows people to create their own blogs that can be hosted on blogger.com or the persons own website. Most people do not have the benefit of having their own, so they use blogger.com’s hosting service.

China has now censored all known forms of blogging it can get to. My blog is different, because it is hosted on my own website.

To me, this is the best example of censorship of thinking that you can show. They have censored everything down to the site that hosts the comments. (This is why I finally bypassed their filters; I was unable to view my comments… Although, nobody seems to want to comment.

The other thing that drives me nuts about Chinese censorship is the foundation for their censorship… keeping these things out of the minds of the uninformed. It is much more irritating for someone who IS informed, when they want to do research or read the news.

The common Chinese person may not know about what is going on with current events, but I DO know about it and I can’t stand it when I know I am being blocked. (There is no “message” when you are blocked, so most Chinese think that the site does not work).

Well… no more irritation for me. =) =)

Excuse me, I think I will go visit FreeTibet.Com and harass those idiots. (See, censorship can be bad also… I have been unable to give those morons a piece of my mind, because their site has been censored.)

*** Explanation *** - I am an advocate of TRUTH. By stating the following, I am in no way saying I believe that Socialism or Communism is wonderful. However…

If, having only two choices, I would much rather live in a socialist run country than in a theocracy. To make the Dali Lama out to be some sort of “Peace/Love/Care” symbol, is utter cattle scat. The people of Tibet were not free BEFORE they themselves revolted. There are still Tibetan monks in Tibet; they are still “teaching”… why is it that the Dali Lama is in exile? Gives you something to think about. Oh, and by the way… Richard Gere can bite my butt… that lousy uninformed moron.

It would be like asking me if I wanted to be ruled by the Pope or Mao… Well, I have seen what the Catholic’s have done throughout history… I’d stick with Mao, thank you. Censorship is easier to deal with than the Spanish Inquisition.

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Tijuana Here I Come!!

I make no secret of the fact that I have several friends in the police department. I don’t know why this happens, but it does. Tonight, I got a call from one of them, asking me if I wanted to join some of them for dinner. When have you heard of me turning down a meal?

Well, we ate and had a good time. The main topic of conversation was the fact that I still did not have my paperwork. We got to laughing so much about it. I explained that I didn’t want their co-workers to put the cuffs on me and take me away for deportation. This got them going.

It also happens that, with all of this, I reached my breaking point tonight. This morning, there was nobody in the office; this was my first irritation of the day. This afternoon, I went to the office to check again, and was told that I would have them later this afternoon. Never happened.

So, while at dinner, I sent a message to my leaders and stated the following:

“I said I would not complain this term. However, it has now become
required. I have told you all for several months about my permits.
If you are on holiday, I should also be on holiday. I expect to be paid
115元/day for each day that I go without my permit.”

Then, I got it into my head to send another message, this one would at least cause them to act in a more immediate manner:

“Right now, I have three policemen asking me where my permits are!”

The guys got a big kick out of this one. We had a good time discussing the whole situation. They were a little upset as well, because they have been inviting me to another town, but I tell them I would not feel comfortable doing that without the legal documentation.

Well, as we went to leave, they said they would drive me home, freeing me from the huge taxi fare. One of them went on ahead to get the car. When I approached, I saw him in the front seat of an official police van for transporting criminals. He knew what was going on in my head already, and he was laughing to the point of tears.

I just walked up with my hands together, ready to be cuffed.

I just couldn’t stop wondering what all the Chinese people were thinking when they saw me, sitting in the back of this van with 3 police officers. “There goes the neighborhood!”

And Another thing…

Anyone following the Rice hearings on Capital Hill, has been treated to one of the biggest comedy scenes in political history.

First and foremost, Ms. Rice and G.W. had the same information that Clinton had. So, whether or not the information was valid, is not a point of contention here. If it was wrong, it was wrong when Clinton had it and handed it over to the current administration.

Now, as for those who are attacking here… What do you have?

1) A drunkard Massachusetts senator who has killed more people with his car, than I have with any of my guns.
2) A former member of the KKK who, to this day walks in TV and talks about “White Niggers”.
3) A woman who, when hearing an answer she does not like, rephrases it until the person gets irritated, then calls them “unresponsive”.
4) A man still pissed at his loss of the Presidency.

Democrats… wake up. Get on with life and try to fix things. The more you do this, the more constituents you lose.

9-11 happened months into G.W.’s term of office. If the Clinton administration didn’t see it coming, neither could he. Information regarding WMD’s in Iraq was not built up over a period of months but years, covering both of Clinton’s terms. It was a mistake, plain and simple. Blame is not to be laid on one persons head. I do not blame Clinton, I blame the UN for it’s lackadaisical attitude about the whole situation.

Grow up. Stop using every chance you can to belittle the President. Start using the time to start making America a better place to live… Maybe then, I will come back.

NEW FRIENDS!!

Well, looks like my sleeping habits have paid off… I have a whole new group of friends to hang around with at night.

Oh am I tired.

I AM SO PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the past week or so, I have had so many problems in the area of sleeping, it is not funny. I don’t know why, but no matter how tired I am, no matter how early/late I go to bed, I always wake up after about 4 hours of sleep. It is getting downright irritating.

Soooo Knowing I would do this, and knowing I needed to change my sleeping routine, I stayed up quite late the day before my trip to the museum, and stayed awake as late as I could. I went to sleep at 3:00am and, of course, I woke up at 6:00am. WIDE awake. I knew I would be dead tired in the middle of the day, but I forced myself to stay awake and thought I would just go to bed in the early evening, thus, putting myself back on the sleeping track.

That evening I was tired…. I knew I had, over the weeks, lost out on a lot of sleep. So, I decided to do something I really don’t like doing. Having my nerve problem, the doctors prescribed me two different things. One of them I do not take, it is similar to Xanex, and I don’t like the idea of drugging myself.

Well, that particular medication does knock me out, if I take more than the ¼ of a pill I am supposed to take.

Soooo, last night at about 8:00pm: I put in ear plugs, turned off my phones, covered my bird, and anything else I could do to silence the room. I then took a WHOLE pill, knowing it was safe, just not recommended for people flying airplanes or operating high powered rifles on rooftops.

I WILL BE DAMNED… I woke up at 12:00. Now, this pissed me off quite a bit. That pill should have relaxed me to the point of sleeping for SEVERAL hours.

I decided to play on the computer for a while to try to get myself a little sleepy. Then, I went to bed…

I WOKE UP 10 HOURS LATER AT 5:30pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHEN IS THIS GOING TO STOP?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s like God WANTS me to be awake in the evenings.

End of an Era:

I just logged in to see the news, and I was honestly brought to tears. This has happened only twice in the past few years, first on the passing of Ronald Reagan, and now, the passing of Johnny Carson. Besides my own father, these two men defined me, in what I believe MY generation was. I say MY generation, because I never did roll with the “popular crowd”.

Politics and Humor are, even now, a big part of my life. These two men helped cement that part of my life.

Johnny Carson was one of the first late night shows I was allowed to watch. Having remembered going to bed at the sound of either the theme song from Sanford and Son, or All In the Family, and recalling the feeling of the hypnotic music of the ABC Saturday Night Movie; being able to finally stay up and watch something adult, was a thrill for me.

It wasn’t just his dry wit that lead the way, but the types of comedians he brought on the show. Jonathan Winters, Robin Williams, Don Rickles, and George Gobel. Not only that, but he let us see the comedic side of such straight actors as Crosby, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Lawrence Olivier, and many others.

He managed this by doing something that neither Lenno nor Letterman have seen fit to do. Let the person talk. Lenno is constantly interrupting and completing sentences, and letterman is making his own punch lines. Carson would just sit and laugh, that is all that was needed.

Carson was just a “home town boy” in the big city. As seen in his own comedic stance. It was corny, but always funny. Even when it bombed, it was always funny. He made no excuses.

I think the one thing I remember him saying, more than anything, was the time when he talked about going deer hunting. He said he sat in the woods and this round eyed doe walked up and looked him deep in the eyes, he said he did the only thing he could do, he proposed. Of course, making fun of his multiple failed marriages.

And, of course, still the most amusing standup routine I have ever seen was during his final week, when Steve Martin came out. He stood there, in the spotlight, wearing a tux, with the bottom of his coat held open and his fly down and one of his hands in his pocket. Other than the obvious, he looked quite debonair. He didn’t say one word during this whole routine, you just heard soft party music in the background, while he would pass things from his fly to his hand. As if he were having a conversation with a female party member. A lit cigarette, then two lit cigarettes, glasses of champagne, and a ringing telephone, a long stemmed rose. The whole time, never cracking a smile.

Yes, the tonight show with Carson was corny, but it was true comedy. You didn’t need to think very hard, it was just plane as day, and funny.

Even after his retirement, I had hopped to see him in some way, outside of the “Tonight Show” spotlight, but it never came to be.

He portrayed himself as an honest, caring, kind person. Even if it were not so, it is still something we needed to be seeing at the end of a long busy day.

General Information Update:

Identity Theft

It seems that the HP incident WAS identity theft. My father graciously called the bank and I contacted some people there and now things are getting straightened out.

I just thought that HP would have done more on the “being concerned” side. A return of a PC was not questioned in any way. And, when they did get back to me, they pointed me to another office, with an 800 number, even thought I am LIVING in China. But, that’s not too horrible.

The bank was wonderful. They cancelled my card, reissued me one, and are sending it FedEx to me. Now I just have to worry about the Chinese postal system.

I just hope these wankers somehow steal the part of my identity I never wanted the world to know. I AM D.B. COOPER!

Hunting/Vacation

I am sorry to say that there has been a snag in my hunting plans. But, that does not concern me. What concerns me is why. The student whose house I was to visit has a very ill grandmother. Hunting is not THAT important to me. I told her not to worry about me, to be with her grandmother and keep her comfortable. From what I understand, she is near death.

Nerve Problem

I was feeling ill for a good bit of the day while on my tour of the War Museum. I was caught in the old fear that it was my nerves. It never drove me to a panic attack, but it did get me to understand that I really do need to move back into the city. Being in the city, I never worried about that, even when I was sick.

None of these feelings today stopped me from doing anything. Including eating at the KFC that was so packed with people that half of the crowd was standing, waiting for tables to open. Anyone who KNOWS me, knows this would have never occurred with me before… I would have never walked into that place.

As I said, my father was right, I admit it… I just need to get out more. Being alone in this campus right now is not helping.

Irritation at the “truth”

I don’t want to mention the name of the “cult” that was recently outlawed here in China, because I know it may result in my page being blocked. However, I am sure with some detective work, you can find it.

I am a little pissed at people using this as a way to spread the misinformation about China not allowing religious freedom. There is freedom of worship.

This organization said that they were not a religion, so those people using this as an example are way off.

This was, is, and always will be a cult. They say you can be of any faith and partake of their “Teachings”. It just so happens that their leader, a Chinese national now living in New York, also believes that the rise in technology is the advent of the takeover of the human race by aliens.

Lets not forget the scene in Tiananmen Square a few years ago when several of these followers decided to light themselves up in protest. This was not like the Buddhist monks in VietNam, this was simple nutjobs.

Look, if the states outlawed this sort of thing, we would have never heard of Jim Jones, David Koresh, The weird group that died in their Nikes waiting for the mother ship, and many others.

China saw this, China stopped this, China put these nutcases into mental hospitals. Things that should have been done to those people we read about on a seemingly constant basis in the states.
See, those groups in the states say they are practicing religious freedom, so they will not be persecuted. They know the laws. The people here in China, know the laws also, so they said they were not a religion. To avoid the laws. Not because worship is not allowed, but because the LEADER would have to pay. Instead of sitting in New York, sucking in money from China.

Look, I will be open and honest about China’s peculiarities, but I will also do my best to clear the air when it comes to misinformation about China. I’m not a Communist, I’m just a person who likes the truth. Especially when I find that I have been lied to about a whole culture of people, for 34 years.

And, in other bad news around China. The winter weather has caused the leather in my belt to shrink. That is the only thing I can think of. But, I am sure that the summer heat will allow it to become more flexible.

Taiwan Issue

I have mentioned how totally bizarre the Chinese government has become over Taiwan. They are so worried about saving face that the complete idiocy of their thoughts are starting to become reality.

They are now in the planning stages of building a bridge to Taiwan. This does not sound so peculiar, until you realize that it would be an easier, less war prone idea for the U.S. to build a bridge to CUBA.

Heck, the first cross-straight flights since 1949 are occurring this year. I don’t think Taiwan is ready for a bridge/tunnel. It would be 200KM long, over 4 times the length of the longest in the world. It would cost $12.08 billion.

Why not just sink that into building roads around the mainland.

As I said, China should start making CHINA a better place, a place in which Taiwan would WANT to be a part of.

I just can’t get images of “Our Gang” out of my head when I think about this.

Museum

Another few things I forgot to mention about the museum. I said that my friends mother was amazed at my knowledge of the old items on display. When I explained to her that I knew what the farming equipment was for, she was stunned. Then, she showed me an ox cart that they used for transporting things in the civil war. She asked me if they had these in America. I told her it was not that long ago that there were many of them in rural areas.

I explained my fathers side of the family being “tenant farmers” and picking cotton. This really does make them stop and wonder when they hear this. I told her my first year at the university was spent studying farming, which really blows them away.

Then, there were the firearms. Man… I was in heaven. They had display after display of old mauser action rifles from the civil war. I was sitting there enjoying being able to actually view some of the things I actually collected back home. However, knowing that the Chinese versions were a little harder to come by that then German/Turkish/Spanish/Japanese. I sat there drooling.

When I explained that I owned many of them in America, she asked me if they were real. I told her I was a hunter, and that firearm ownership in America was legal. But, I could not get the awe out of my head of all those classic firearms just crying to be put into my collection.

It got to the point where they were asking ME what things were, as if I was the tour guide. I knew everything, except for ONE small thing that had me stumped. An older man decided he could use this as a way to make me lose face, but hell, I didn’t mind. He was the one who actually lost face, but I didn’t call him on it, I just let him go.

There was a type of howitzer on display, that, for some reason, had two seats beside the man barrel. Now, for me, this was way out of place. I thought that maybe it was put together incorrectly. I thought it SHOULD have been an antiaircraft battery. Nobody in their right mind would want to sit in front of a short barreled howitzer while it’s blasting. You don’t use people up front for accuracy check. You DO however use them on antiaircraft batteries, men will use hand controls to aim and fire, with the barrel between them.

I was just plain stumped.

Of course, I was neglecting the fact that this was a CHINESE howitzer, and, as seen by many things, my logic does not always apply.

Democracy In Action:

Today I took a trip with my little friend, his “older brother” (cousin, 14), his mother, and her friend. We went into town and visited the newly remodeled “War Museum”.

I had been under the impression, that this was a museum showing the history of the Japanese occupation and battles. I was misinformed.

First, let me say, it was a well built museum. This has got to be the cleanest, most modern, well equipped facility in town; far surpassing the local KFC. I was truly amazed at its craftsmanship. Had I not known where it was, I would have thought I was in one of the national museums in Washington DC. To be honest, it made some of those look “trashy”.

It, however, had nothing to do with the occupation/battles with Japan. It was solely dedicated to the battles of the northeast during their civil war with the KMT.

The most enjoyable thing was the top floor. It was a circular room that you walked up into the center of. The walls were painted with a panoramic view of the city of JinZhou during their civil war. The lights would dim, and projectors would do nothing more than make the clouds and smoke appear to move. There were laser dots that would point out areas of the town as the narrator told the story. On the floor, it was right out of a war scene, but about ¾ scale. Bodies, craters, and general destruction encircled the room.

The perspective of the mural was as if you were standing, exactly where we were standing in town, at the same level we were. I looked around the room for landmarks and there it was, my home city… JinZhou. It was quite… amazing, to say the least.

Let me say, I am not going to argue the politics/reasons/outcome of their civil war. It is their history, their battles, and their legacy. I did enjoy, however, the fact that they did do something that many museums in the U.S. don’t do (regarding the American civil war); and that is, not totally degrade/vilify the opposing side.

I walked through this museum and felt nothing more than the patriotic pride that the people feel regarding the war. Yes, it was a war, and it discussed the death and destruction, but it also showed sides. It did not vilify, it showed a prideful victorious heritage.

On one side, I would see pictures of Mao and Chen Kai standing together and pictures of Maoists with Russian “comrades”, on the other I would see George C. Marshall meeting with KMT leaders. It was history.

Don’t be fooled though, it did have its own spin of Communist propaganda. My little friend’s mother was amazed at my understanding of the history, as well as what the objects were. And, she could tell there was something amiss when I was reading one of the panels. There was no way, with my limited Chinese, that I could explain it to her.

Several of the panels used the word “fight for Democracy” in its description of the Maoist side. I have often wondered about the Communists definition of “Democracy”. Whenever I hear them talk about North Korea, its official name is used: Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea” it confuses me even more.

It’s funny, but with all of that fighting, and their victory, why is it that the KMT lead Taiwan is more “Democratic” than the mainland?

The logic never fails to amaze me.

I honestly sat there looking at these rows of bronze busts of their “War Hero’s” and all I could think to myself was, “I wonder if they would have fought in the same way, had they known how history would turn out?” At that point, I literally felt sorrow for the victors of that war.

Inside of the museum, there was a scene exhibit of a rural farm, during that time, with the mother tending to an injured soldier/family member, the grandparents standing near the door, and the children playing. I have seen exhibits like this in Washington, of everything from the Great Depression, to any number of America’s wars. The thing that struck me the most… There was no difference between this rural setting, and any number I have seen during my stay in China.

In Washington, if you took the signs off of those exhibits, I could tell you which time period each belonged to. With the exhibit here, I couldn’t tell you which TIME OF DAY they belonged to.

For the past several hundred years, the common man of China has remained stuck in time. Feudal wars, the occupation by Japan, civil war, Mao ZeDong, the Cultural Revolution, NONE of these things changed their life… they themselves didn’t change it.

I have heard people here say that America has such a short history, they don’t understand the things that the Chinese people have gone through. To this, I say, “Hogwash!” America HAS been through China’s history… it has been through Europe’s history, Africa’s history, South America’s history, and every other history of the world. America is not a country of spontaneously generated people; it is a country of ALL people. Each person has brought with them the same feelings, thoughts, and history of their respective countries. America is not a place, it’s an ideal. People here cannot understand that, to them, China is not just a place, but a race of people. I don’t look at Colon Powell as JAMAICAN, I don’t look at Bill Gates as being MARTIAN, I just think of them as American. (Sorry, I had to toss that one in there)

However, one thing does remain factual… The U.S. DID start with a blank sheet of paper. It is quite hard to compare the US with many other nations in the world, because of that fact. America was built on the knowledge of what was wrong with the rest of the world. The rest of the world had to build its way through that, upon that, and will always have to be aware of it.

It’s an awful thing to admit, but often, I walk down the streets here and think to myself, “One day, someone needs to just lay waste to this, and start over again.” It’s awful, but I think about that a lot. (And, to be honest, I know I am not the only one who has thought that... Other than MacArthur of course.)

I think the funniest thing about today was my little friend. A few nights ago, he and his mother came into the restaurant I was eating in and talked to me. When I tried to explain something to his mother, he tapped me on the shoulder and gave me this look of, “I’ve got this one Kyle… let me handle it.”, then he turned to her and explained everything I was talking about, in Chinese, to her. Even the other people eating there started to laugh. I patted him on the shoulder, and he puffed up with pride.

The same thing happened today, every time his mother would have trouble understanding my meaning, he would pipe in and explain. It was the funniest thing. He just… UNDERSTANDS ME.

I sat there in front of one of the bomber planes outside of the museum, trying to explain what the “Extended fuel tanks” were for. No matter how I tried, I knew I was not getting through to her, but she wanted to know what they were. Again, he just piped in and explained it for me. I knew he was explaining it correctly, because he was using all the Chinese words I was using, but he was filling in the missing Chinese I didn’t know. He’s AWSOME. Hahaha

Then, on the way home, he asked me why I was standing on the bus. When I explained it to him, his mother looked at me and said “He doesn’t understand” (in Chinese), to which I replied (in Chinese), “Oh yes he does!”, and sure enough, he looked at her and explained it to her. I laughed so hard it hurt.

Vacation Update…

Now, I know I told the office I would be a good boy and not complain. So I am not going to… but, let me fill you in on some events that WOULD have me complaining… if I were to complain. Which, I am not.

I informed the office that my teaching certificate had expired MONTHS ago, but they kept telling me it was ok. I know this is not the case; it is illegal for me to work without them. I mentioned this, but it didn’t seem to faze them.

The office is well aware that my residency permit expires at the end of my contract. They cannot make them for any length of time longer than that… well… they COULD, but… I’m not complaining.

The office is also aware that China only gives 30/90 day visas. Mine expired after the first month of it being issued.

Last month, I let every English speaking person, in the office, know that this was going to become a problem. I also let them know that it could also become a problem for them, not with me, but with the government. I didn’t use this as a threat, just helpful information. The school can be fined heavily for each day I teach without having the correct paperwork.

Well… here I sit. The term ended for us on December 24th.

I’m not complaining.

Why am I still in my room?

Well. First, the official end of term wasn’t until Jan 15th. Even though we foreign teachers ended our classes, the Chinese teachers still had theirs. This is not because WE wanted it this way; it is how the school set it up.

And, I DID NOT COMPLAIN, as did many other foreign teachers, when we were not allowed to start our vacations. We were told that if we went anywhere outside of JinZhou, except for weekends, we would have our pay reduced. So, I sat here doing nothing until the 15th of January. I realized that it might not sit well with the Chinese teachers to see the foreign teachers leaving for their vacations weeks before they could. However, it wasn’t our fault that the school set things up like that.

But I DIDN’T complain.

I did, however, make plans; that the office was well aware of.

Well… it is now January 22nd, a full week into our vacation, and I am still here, alone… in my room… in an empty university… surviving off of melted snow and any roaches I can catch (Just kidding… I wait for them to die first).

I am NOT complaining.

I paid the 400元 last week, and I was told I would have it on Friday. Now, I am told, “Maybe within a week.”

Why is this taking so long? Well… for a number of reasons.

1) Evidently, the several months advanced notice was not enough.
2) The number of messages was not enough.
3) Sending the messages to every person in the office, confused them.
4) They are too busy on their own vacations.
5) My lack of complaining has stunned and confused them.

I am not complaining.

If I were… I would be wondering why it was, that we would lose part of our salary if we left JinZhou prior to the 15th, even though we had no work; yet, I would be considered RADICAL if I were to ask them to pay me extra for the vacation time I am missing now?

But, we all know… I’m not complaining.

I wouldn’t want to interfere with their vacation plans.

Maybe, I could just change my vacation plans. I could just take a short trip to VietNam and bring back some “gift chickens” for them. They would like that… wouldn’t they?

(Yes, there actuallty is a www.BirdFluToday.Com

which seems to be blocked here..

Access the archives here.. http://archive.wn.com/birdflutoday)

Hewlett Packard’s New Sales Strategy:

Hewlett Packard is one brilliant company. They have come up with a sales strategy that is sure to rake in millions for them. I will let you in on the secret…

They will ship computers randomly, charge the person, and hope they don’t notice!

Theys ain't got the motto "Invent" for nuthin'!

Think about it… all of those millions of people who would NEVER question getting a new computer at their door, or question a debit on their bank statement. Wow, how I wish I had this sort of business sense.

I am being facetious, of course.

Please, someone, tell me what the deal with this situation is. I am racking my brain over it.

I was sent an e-mail, stating that HP had shipped a computer to my US address under the name of Kelly Davis, with a bill for $1,012.98 in it.

I can understand a shipping error, but let’s take it a step further, shall we?

Obviously, the computer was shipped back. However, I noticed that, the day before the computer arrived, HP had debited my account for the $1,012.98 and credited my account a few days after it was returned. This is rather strange, seeing as how there was a BILL that came with the PC.

Now it is much more than just a shipping error… much more.

Seeing as how nobody at either HP or the bank informed me of the possibility of identity theft, I would assume it wasn’t that. Being a computer person, I am stumped as to how such a mix up can happen.

First, I don’t know any company, using online sales, that does not require your corrected address for credit card verification.

Otherwise, someone would have had to give them my account number and HP pulled the shipping address from the bank. I don’t think this is a way to run online sales, do you?

SOMEONE please explain to me how this can happen?

Ok, let’s get it out of the way right now. There is no feeble old lady named Kelly Davis who, not only typed in her card number wrong, but also the wrong address.

As I said, if it were identity theft, the person would have used a different shipping address (or they were complete morons).

Not only that, but…

WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO STEAL MY IDENTITY? Hell, I make $60.17 a WEEK, I am sure you can find a kid out there with a bigger ALLOWANCE than that.

I told my family, I am thinking of charging HP a fee for each of the days my account was affected, plus an extra $50 for the trouble. This would bring it to $175.00 Man… I’d be RICH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

INS RAID!!!!!!!!!

Well, it has been a few days since I last posted. I’ve been vegetating. Students have gone home, and teachers are off trying to get a jump on their vacation plans. I am starting late, for two reasons.

First, I am relaxing. Since I was to be going to two different students’ homes, I told them it would be better for them to have time alone with their parents before I came. Constant streams of students will invite you to their homes during the break; I rarely take them up on it.

Secondly, and more irritating… I CAN’T start my vacation. I, am now, officially, an ILLEGAL ALIEN! All of my permits have expired. I’ve talked to the office about this fact for months, but they rested on the fact that they had some “Reach” in this town when it comes to law enforcement. In other words, if someone ever found out, they could fix it.

This is ok, but it will not help me when I am in a different province. It is not uncommon for people to review your passport and paperwork when you travel. This is why I carry mine with me always. For most large hotels, they require your passport information. Well, as soon as someone sees that my visa expired ages ago, and that my residency permit, which allows me to be here with an expired visa, AND, my teaching certificate have all expired, it is their duty to inform someone. That means, I would be in jail, awaiting deportation.

I sent a message to one of the other teachers today stating… “I don’t want to go back to Tijuana!”

Well, I did promise the office that I would be a good boy and try not to complain this term. So, I sent them a nice SMS message and I will wait to see what happens.

The teacher was concerned that I would not be able to go anywhere on vacation. I told her I have been on vacation since October 15th, 2002. I don’t NEED to go anywhere.

Vacation; all I ever wanted… Vacation; had to get away…

Ok, sorry for the Go-Go’s lyrics there, but it was needed.

It is WINTER vacation time again for me. This one looks to be pretty eventful, not taking into account the normal festivities of the Chinese Spring Festival/Lunar New Year.

I’m not one who usually likes to make planned trips (as seen by my move to China). I think this stems from my past “social phobia” problems. Actually PLANNING something that I KNEW would cause me great discomfort, caused more panic attacks than the actual trip would. In other words, I would do things strictly on a “spur of the moment” basis.

Even now, I prefer doing things on the spur of the moment. I had the problem for so long, that I can’t remember if I was this way BEFORE I had the problem. Sometimes, I don’t know if my lifestyle defined my problem, or my problem defined my lifestyle.

ANYWAY!

The only thing I KNEW I could plan, without any great discomfort, and with much joy, was/is hunting. Hunting has become so much a part of my life; it actually causes me discomfort NOT being able to go. I am an adult; I have lived away from my family for quite some time. I have not seen them well over a year, and some members I have not seen in over 5 years. I miss them, sure, but I have NOT gone 1 year without hunting in 20 years… until this past year. Right now, if you handed either a plane ticket to see my family, or a rifle and an open field of soybeans, there would be no hesitation… I’d be hunting.

This year is going to be a little different. I am actually going to go HUNTING in China. Yes, we have been over this before… people CAN own firearms in China, it is comparable to owning a handgun in New York City, only applied to 1.3 billion people. And, YES, there is hunting in China; it’s actually quite a profitable business for some outfitters.

Of course this year, I am going to be doing it in SNOW. Something I have never really done. Even when I was living in the north, I ended up flying back to the south to hunt.

After that, I am headed to DanDong, a town on the Yalu River, north of… North Korea. This reminds me… Dad, I forgot to tell you, the goose fly’s north at 11:00. (An inside “CIA” joke).

I am going… well, because it’s there. To me, it’s just neat being able to say I saw N. Korea from ABOVE the DMZ.

And, NO DAD, I am not going to go INTO Korea. All of my students keep telling me, “Yes, you can go into Korea.” I have to keep reminding them I am an American. This is strange, because people I don’t even know, remind me of that every time I walk down the street here.

There’s No Place Like...

Well, it’s that time of year again for me… the time to sign a new contract. I just signed on for another 6 months. It was sorta’ up in the air as to whether or not I would be back teaching here. I didn’t mention anything before, for several reasons… first of which, I know some people at the school read this, and I didn’t want anything I said to influence things.

My father has tried to teach me to keep my mouth shut. I try Pop, I try. I have learned to be far more accepting of things since I moved to China. However, I was pushed to the limit a few weeks ago.

I had read my contract to say that I would be paid extra for teaching any “Non-University Level” or night courses. So, when I was asked to teach a night time high school class, I thought I would get paid. When they didn’t, I didn’t push it, I accepted it. Then, they opted to increase the class size from 8 to 100 students. THEN, they decided to line their pockets by charging these students an extra 100元 each, simply for my class.

I didn’t take to kindly to that. So, I pressed the issue of my contract. I wanted to be paid. If they were going to make an extra 10,000元 a month off of ME, I was at least going to get paid the 50元 an hour they promised me.

They didn’t.

So, I made up for it by not teaching 4 of my university level classes. This made them a little angry.

I told them that the monetary issue was now “even”, and if they wanted me to teach the high school class again, I was to be paid as stated in my contract; especially when they had another teacher being paid for teaching a UNIVERSITY night class.

They didn’t see it as fair, so they thought they would take money out of my salary for the classes I didn’t teach. Wrong button to push on Kyle.

I will admit I got loud. I pretty much told them that, that day, I was not going to leave the office without getting 100% of my salary.

A long story short…

They questioned whether or not I was doing my job. An even WORSE button to push on Kyle.

I then, in great detail, questioned THEIR job performance. When I went to my room and brought back a soda bottle with brown water from my sink, it was like icing on the cake.

The leader seemed astounded by this. When I kept rattling off the problems that every teacher was facing, from going 4 months without TV, being locked out, not having a phone to call America… things like that, she was overwhelmed. What I had done was to rain on the parade of one of the office workers who, instead of doing his/her job, would just push these issues aside.

The leader asked me to write down everything that was a problem, or anything that was wrong, and give it to her the next day.

I did walk out of the office with my salary, and, the next day, the leader got 5 ½ pages of A4 sized paper filled with problems that I alone faced, down to being ignored when I needed medical attention.

The whole point of the list was to show them that they would be able to work less on getting new teachers every term, if they just worked a little harder at keeping the ones they have. I am not working with peasants, these are people who have homes of their own, with hot water, TV, phones, and send their children to Europe to study. The lack of action on their part was just out of laziness.

Well, nobody likes to be shown their shortcomings, especially written down on 5 ½ pages of paper.

So, I have spent the last month, doing a whole lot of smiling, hello’s, and lip biting, in hopes of at least securing a renewal of my contract.

I know, you question why. But it’s complicated. I love this place; I just have a problem with the way ONE office does their job. I TRY to work with them, but, again, people here don’t question things.

The funny thing is the reason they renewed my contract was that one of the companies who is supplying the fresh stream of new teachers to this university, is displeased with how their teachers are being treated. I’m not one of those, but it’s quite funny to see irony in action. They pulled the plug on their supply. I guess they are being forced to face their own shortcomings.

What had me so dumbfounded was that the leader still refuses to allow the foreign teachers to pay for their own housing off campus. Not only would this save the school money, but it would keep that office from being inundated with problems that they never work on anyway. In other words, we would be out of their hair.

Every school in this city provides housing off campus. There is no reason for it here. When the leader told me it was, “… for safety. It is not safe off campus…”, I replied, “You do know, I was never attacked OFF campus… but I WAS attacked on campus.” All she could do was smile.

This term, I am going to be a good boy. I’ll say, “Yes Sir”/”No Sir”. But I am pretty sure I will be looking at another university in town. Another reason I didn’t want to leave is…. It’s TOO COLD TO MOVE ALL MY STUFF!

To everything there is a time and purpose under heaven.

My father is full of wisdom; and life never seems to let me forget it. The one lesson he has taught me that I remember constantly, but never seem to practice, is watching what I say. “There is power in your words.” He always tells me, and he means it biblically.

We are taught that, with faith, we have the power to move mountains.

After attempting to light a cigarette with a new lighter that threw out a good 7” flame, I have learned never to question the logic of having nose hairs at an old age.

Needless to say, they do keep you quite warm on frosty mornings.

And, after getting my hair cut today, for the first time in well over a month, I learned not to speak ill of those odd hairs on my ears… I am sure God has a reason for those also.

I’m cOLD!

Quick post…

How can you tell you are old and cold at the same time? Go outside, breath out through your nose, and then take a quick, deep breath through your nose.

If you can feel the ice forming on your nose hairs, you are old.

How can you tell if you are even older than that?

Find a grey nose hair.


Guess what…. I’m old and cold.