二零零四年 十月 十五日 - One Year and Counting

Although I have been in China (中国) only one short year, I must say it has been the most interesting time in my life. It seems like a lifetime ago when I set foot in BeiJing (北京) that cold October day. I honestly look back on the person I was, as though I was looking back on my childhood; I have experienced and learned so much.

Moving to China has been the greatest decision of my life. But don’t use this as a confirmation that you will have the same thought if you move here. My experience is based on what WAS my life before I came here.

I came here after hitting bottom. Otherwise, I would have never come here. So, in a way, I am glad I hit bottom. When you reach the point of totally giving up, it’s amazing what you can do.

China is a wonderful place, and I wish to stay here as long as I possibly can. Most other foreigners living and teaching here will say that I am still in that initial “dream state” phase of being in China; this is not the case.

I have passed that stage, and I quickly learned the ropes. I also have developed a thick skin when it comes to the most common absurdities and irritations that most foreigners feel after being here for any length of time.

I am quite aware that many of my experiences are based on the fact that I AM a foreigner, but that cannot be helped.

Instead of going into the irritations, let me tell you about how wonderful China really is:

The people here are some of the nicest people I have ever met. I have been to a few countries and I have yet to be given the same impression from any other place. The Philippines come in a close second.

There are many differences in lifestyles and culture, but once you get it into your head that you are in THEIR country and that they are not going to change for you, it can be a very pleasing and interesting experience.

In the States, if I were to walk up to a child and start talking, or vice verse, I would be looked at as a predator. Here, the children are more approachable than adults, and they try in every way to talk to others. It is amazingly fun.

The elderly are just as curious, and just as lovely. Of course, their curiosity sometimes deafens them to your calls of “Nin Hao”, but once they understand you are talking to them, they always get a nice smile on their face.

Strangers will make an effort to come up to you and either give you cigarettes, whiskey, or invite you to dinner. Yes, after having quit smoking for 2 years prior to coming to China, I finally broke… I know… I know… I don’t blame anyone but myself.

When talking about China, you really have to break it into two separate categories; Lifestyle/Culture, and ideology.

Ideologically, there are some things I consider MAJOR problems with China, and I am not referring to the old “Communism bad… Democracy good” line. I am talking about the thoughts and behaviors that dictate the direction of China’s history.

The lifestyle/culture of China is something completely different, and it is this that makes China great. Yes, the fact that there is such a gap between these two things is slowing down the development of this country; it is just a matter of time before things do change. Some for the better, some not, but that is to be expected anywhere.

Living here has given me a new perspective on many things in life.

In a little over a year, I went from making $70,000 a year in the computer field, living in a somewhat posh community, to sitting here now, typing this in my “dorm room” with brown water coming out of the tap, and no TV.

And, you know what. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Shhh… yes, I purposefully left out the fact that I lost the job, home, girlfriend, money, and had to move back with my parents, but I didn’t want them to think I didn’t appreciate their kindness and generosity also.

On a serious note. Had it not been for the help of my parents, siblings, and best friend, during the worst time in my life, I would have never come here either. I know that in the time before I came here, I was quite a burden on all of you. For this I apologize, and give you all the thanks in the world for your help. Although I have not seen some of you in quite a number of years, I still think and pray for you often. I love you all. Kiss the kids for me.

And… for the rest of you… if you can find a good freeze dried lasagna… send it to me… please…. I like Chinese food, but this is getting ridiculous. =)

Ms. Communication.

Something happened the other day that will still have me giggling for a long time.

James, Cathy (his main squeeze), and I were walking… someplace. Walking is my main mode of transportation here in China. Anyway, we stopped at a patch of clover that was planted as ground cover at the university.

While looking for 4-leaf clovers (which I am a master of), I pointed out a bug to Cathy. Cathy, it seems, loves bugs. Well, any bug that does not fly. This particular bug was always of interest to me as a child, since it was pretty grotesque looking and, also, didn’t fly.

I pointed to it and said, “Do you know what that is?” and both James and Cathy said, “No.”

Wanting to show my talent for odd knowledge, I said, “That’s a ladybug larva.”

Cathy quickly said, “Well, they have really bad taste.” To which James and I both turned our heads and furrowed our brows in bewilderment.

When she repeated her statement for our questioning ears, she added in, “Why would they pick that for a luvah?”

She thought I said “Lover”, which is pretty easy to mistake, being it was the first time she heard the word “larva”. I must say, her listening skills are great.


Ladybug Larva & Ladybug LOVERS

Photo from: LadyBugLady.Com

How to buy a computer in China.

Well, it happened again… my hard drive crashed on my laptop. This time was enough for me to delve into my savings and purchase a new computer.

I looked at several used laptops, including some “new” display models, but they were all too pricey for what I wanted. It was then, that I decided to break my long habit and purchase a desktop.

Of course, I had someone build one for me. There are several of these shops around, and it is much cheaper than buying a name brand box. The only difference is, with a new one you are paying for the little name on the physical case of the computer. The innards of my pc are name brand, I just purchased the cheapest case, keyboard, and monitor I could.

Since I do know a “little” something about computers, I went into one of the more reputable looking shops, looked at what they had advertised, broke it down to the bare minimums, and worked up from there.

I came out with:
Intel 2.4GHz processor
512Mb DDR RAM
40Gb HD
64Mb Video RAM
4 USB Ports
10/100 Fast Ethernet Card
56K Modem
17” Monitor
Windows XP Pro SP2 (ENGLISH!!)
and all in a matching black and silver color scheme.

Now, I know, you are saying… “Where is the CD/RW?” or “What about the floppy?” Well, I already had a Sony CD/RW drive, so I just installed that myself. As for a floppy… as if anyone uses them much anyway… I will buy a used one and toss it in.

All of this cost me a months salary: 3,550元, which comes out to $430.30.

Just think, that is about how much you would pay for a monitor now-a-days.

But wait, there is more.

I have reformatted my hard drive, cleaned up the laptop and case, and found a used laptop place that will pay me 2,000元 for it. So, in essence, I am getting this desktop for 1,550元， which is $187.87.

Not bad.

Holidays…

Well, it is yet another holiday time here in China. It seems as though there is some sort of holiday every other week here. The main difference with holidays in China is that you really don’t have time off for them. Yes, you don’t have to work on those days, but you are expected to make up those days on either the previous or following weekends. The most insane example of this was “Children’s Day”. Students didn’t have to go to school that day… they made up for it that weekend. And you thought snow days were a bitch…

Mid Autumn Day is the holiday of the hour. This, along with National Day, makes for a week of “vacation” for us. Most of the students have gone home, which leads to the main point of my update.

Most of the foreign teachers are taking this time to do some traveling. Well, I’m not too keen on running around the country right now. I will be doing some traveling, but I am just going to do a few day trips. I have always hated planning long trips. This way, I can have more of an adventure, not a prescheduled uneventful trip.

With the advent of the “One Child” policy here in China, society has changed incredibly. There can be no question about it. The generation of students I am teaching is completely made up of only children.

Let me interrupt myself to clarify something. The policy is, for population control, anyone having more than one child would be fined. Contrary to popular belief, nobody is killing off their female children. All you have to do is come to this campus to see that, I would say it’s about 80% female.

I fully understand this policy. It is not some bizarre forced Communist doctrine or anything like that. It is simply a “seemingly” logical step in the solution of the problem of overpopulation. However, there are some very harsh side effects that people have not really taken the time to think about.

One of them is evident today, with the campus being deserted. These kids are so lonely for their families it goes beyond anything you could imagine. We are not even a full month into the term and they are literally overcrowding trains and busses in a hurry to get home.

I let each class know that I am their friend, and not to think of me like they do their Chinese teachers. Chinese teachers are quite strict. I let them know we can talk about anything in class, and they can say what they want. I let them all know that, at my age, there isn’t anything they could say to me that would make me angry or upset with them.

More often than not, they ask me questions about how I deal with situations. Sometimes, just listening to these questions can bring a lump to my throat. They want to know how to overcome burdensome hardships in their personal life.

Right before the holiday, I was asked two questions: The first was, “You are always so happy, what do you do when you are sad, and how do you overcome it?”. The second question was, “You have been in China for a year, how can you not miss your family as much as we miss ours?”

They were not asking out of curiosity, but for advice on how to overcome their own feelings.

Of course, I took these questions seriously, and I told them that with time, things change. I explained that I missed my family when I was in college also, and that good friends were the best way to keep yourself happy. I also explained that at my age, the things that make them sad are not the things that make me sad now. (I’m 35 and unmarried… not having a girlfriend isn’t going to bring a tear to my eye.)

When I explained that I had not seen my oldest sister in nearly 5 years, they gasped. But I told them that I love my family just as much as they love theirs. It’s just that right now, their life IS their family. Now, my sister’s life is HER family and that my life is my own. Not that my family is less important to me, it is just that my own life is now more important right now.

For most of you reading this, it seems like common sense, and that I am stating the obvious. This is true, but what you need to realize is… I was telling this to 20 – 22 year olds.

Every person wants his or her child to have a good life, prosper, and be happy. But, along with this, many people of the previous generation in China also look at the changes occurring and realize that their child is, more often than not, going to be their meal ticket. I don’t mean this in a derogatory way; it is just a fact of the social progression here in China.

I feel sorry for the kids now, but I feel even more so, for the next generation… They are going to have to live with the consequences. Growing up in a world of only children. Can you imagine?

A country full of people who are accustomed to getting what they want, when they want it. People who have been brought up treated as though they were little princes and princesses…

I shudder to think about it.

Let me make another thing clear. The other day, I walked down the street near one of the children’s parks and it struck me how accustomed I was to having things of much better quality. I’ve been to amusement parks that would shock these children. However, I was raised by parents who were not about to give me everything I ever wanted. I never did WITHOUT, but they were not going to spend their money on the next “toy of the moment”. I have NO complaints about my childhood.